Richard D. Solomon's Blog on Mentoring Jewish Students and Teachers

Our hope is that this blog will become a forum in which people can exchange ideas on how to recruit, develop and retain exceptional Jewish educators through mentoring and e-mentoring students, teaching candidates, and teachers in our day and supplemental schools. The present focus of this blog is to empower Jewish teachers, administrators, teacher trainers, consultants, and staff developers to integrate web technology (i.e. web tools and apps) into their teaching and teacher training.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

How Do the Mentor and the Mentee Negotiate Expectations?

Before we answer the question ( how do the mentor and he mentee negotiate expectations?) let’s explain (a) the meaning of expectations, and (b) why expectations need to be negotiated by the mentor and mentee. Kindly refer to the graphic at the top of this post.

According to Sherwood and Gildewill (1973) [1], expectations are silent demands between and among people. Thus, in the mentor/mentee relationship each person has hidden demands of the other. When those silent demands remain unvoiced, feelings such as frustration at best, and sometimes resentment, anger and hostility may arise. Moreover, when these negative feelings are not addressed, the relationship can deteriorate to the point of being unproductive and dysfunctional. Thus, Sherwood and Gildewill strongly suggest that at the beginning of a professional relationship each party should share (a) what he or she expects to do, and (b) what he or she expects from the other person. Once these expectations are voiced, and any issues emerge, these once- hidden concerns can be openly resolved or negotiated. They argue by extension that expectations negotiation is the sine qua non for a successful mentor/mentee relationship. It is, therefore, both a relationship and trust-building exercise.

Exactly How Do the Mentor and Mentee Negotiate Their Expectations?

1. Both the mentor and mentee complete these sentences.

As the mentor, this is what I expect to do for my mentee...

As the mentor, this is what I expect from my mentee...

As the mentee, this is what I expect to do in and outside of the classroom to prepare for this experience (i.e. serving as a madrich, student teacher, co-teacher, teacher, etc.)...

As the mentee, this is what I expect from my mentor...

2. They share their expectations and resolve any differences.

3. They implement what they have agreed to do.

4. If and when a problem emerges, they renegotiate and resolve their differences.

In a tomorrow’s blog post we will discuss how to resolve mentor-mentee issues through an interpersonal procedure called the Conflict Resolution Method (CRM).

[1]Sherwood, J.J. & Gildewill, J.C. (1973). Planned Renegotiation: A Norm-Setting OD Intervention. The 1973 Annual Handbook for Group Facilitators. Jones, J.E. & Pfeiffer, J.W. (eds). San Diego, CA: University Associates, 195-202.